A roundup of the best quips from the Aussie funnyman at the Quiksilver and Roxy Pro Gold Coast:
"It's like squirting honey in your eyes."
-- describing John John Florence's smooth style.
"Tyler [Wright] is looking laser focused, if she walked in front of you, she'd chop you right in half."
-- on the reigning World Champ's intense focus heading into Finals day.
"It looked like a poke bowl."
-- after seeing a photo of Conner Coffin's knee injury on Instagram.
"Whenever I see Sally on camera, I feel like the unhealthiest human on the planet. I think she runs marathons after her heats."
-- regarding Sally Fitzgibbons' fitness after her Quarterfinal heat win.
"Is it mullet, or moo-lay?"
-- expanding on the correct French pronunciation of Mikey Wright's bogan haircut.
"It must be a nightmare when you're going through customs." -- talking about the 17-centimeter metal rod in Bede Durbidge's pelvis.
"He's not giving himself a 4 right now…"
-- commenting on Conner Coffin's double-shaka claim after a last-second win.
"Kaipo [Guerrero] opened his wallet and a bunch of moths flew out."
-- describing the scene when the notoriously frugal Hawaiian reached for the check during a group dinner.